he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize