the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
