im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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