Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize