i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
