Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You ruined the universe
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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