There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
