Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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