one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
