Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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