Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Randomize
