She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I need to stop coming to work sober
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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