8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
