Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
