Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
