His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize