I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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