just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
she smelled like a LAN party
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
