No stitches, just platelets and will power
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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