Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
