I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
