Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
