what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
