When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
love makes seman taste better
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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