dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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