chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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