I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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