God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
