new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'd cum for enchiladas.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
