i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
