So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
