Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
