ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
