the condom got lost in my hair
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
