literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
