Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Randomize