I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize