check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
