Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
