I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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