Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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