She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
