Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
