I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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