Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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