and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
