I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
