So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize