So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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