This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
