i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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