There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
