She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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