I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
