...so i touched it.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
