piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
