My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I wish I only lived at night.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
