Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
