mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Randomize
