After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
